A few days ago I was talking to a friend who had made some very
noticeable and very positive changes in her life. She talked about how
difficult the journey had been and how long it took to get there,
but how much happier she felt that she had succeeded. She also commented
that although she was proud of what she had done so far, she knew that
there was more work to do.
Change is hard. And it's easy to
get discouraged when you try and don't get the results you were hoping
for. But the reality is that just making the effort is, in fact,
progress. Change is not an event with an exact start and stop point;
it's a process. Each step you make, even if it's a relatively small step
such as making the resolution to change, is still a step in the right
direction, bringing you closer to your ultimate goal
It's also important to recognize that even if you take a few steps
back, it's not the end of the world. In fact, research has found that
change rarely occurs in a straightforward, linear sequence, and when
people falter, they usually don't fall all the way back to where they
first began the journey. In fact, if viewed and used correctly, the
missteps can serve as learning opportunities, helping you become better
prepared for the next leg of the trip.
The Five Stages of Change:
Although
several models of change have been developed and researched, one of the
most referenced models is the transtheoretical model (TTM) developed by
James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente. The model presupposes
that individuals who are trying to make changes are in one of the five
stages of change at any given point in the process. The model proposes
that each stage prepares the person for the following stage and that
different strategies are needed at different stages to succeed. Although
most of the research on TTM has focused on
addiction (alcohol,
drugs, and
smoking), it can be applied to other behaviors where the ultimate goal is a significant lifestyle change, like weight loss.
The image below depicts a spiral model of the stages of change taken from Harvard's Women's Health Watch article,
Why It's Hard to Change Unhealthy Behavior.
The spiral was adapted from the model developed by Prochaska and
DiClemente. Alongside the graphic is an more detailed explanation of
the stages.
stages.
Source: Harvard Health Publications
Precontemplation.: In the precontemplation
stage, individuals aren't yet consciously aware that change is necessary
or desired. This may be because prior attempts to change failed or it
may be due to lack of insight or awareness of a problem. In order to
move past this stage, individuals must somehow become aware that there
is a problem and that change is required to accomplish a goal or
aspiration. This awareness might come about on its own over time,
through others pushing for change, through court-ordered
interventions, or through media or public
education.
Contemplation: In
this stage, there is some awareness that change is needed or wanted,
but there is no commitment yet to actually change. These individuals are
"on the fence." They recognize that their unhealthy behavior is causing
unwanted consequences, but they are weighing whether changing will
be worth it.
Some people remain in the contemplation stage
forever, never actually making a commitment to do something
differently. For others, the process takes a few days or a few weeks.
But regardless of how long it takes, the positive aspect of being in
this stage is that at least there is an openness to hearing and
learning about the unhealthy or unwanted behavior, which over time may
create the push needed to get to the next stage of change.
There
also are other ways to get someone to the next level. According to
Harvard's Women's Health Watch, educators and counselors use a variety
of strategies to help contemplaters move beyond this stage, one of which
is "to make a list of the pros and cons, then examine the barriers (the
cons) and think about how to overcome them. For example, many women
find it difficult to get regular exercise because it's inconvenient or
they have too little time. If finding a 30-minute block of time to
exercise is a barrier, how about two 15-minute sessions? Could someone
else cook dinner so you can take a walk after work? If you feel too
self-conscious to take an exercise class, what about using an exercise
video at home?"
Preparation: This is the stage
where individuals start making plans to change. They may start to do
research on what they need to do to be successful in their attempt to
change and they may take small steps toward action. For example, someone
with an
anger
control problem may find a therapist to learn strategies to better
control her emotions and actions; someone who wants to lose weight may
join a gym.
It's important at this stage to recognize that there will be situations in the
environment
that are stimuli for the unhealthy or unwanted behavior and steps
should be made to avoid these stimuli whenever possible. If you're
trying to lose weight, but can't resist donuts, you should not agree
to run into Dunkin Donuts to pick up a dozen for an office
party. Whatever triggers the unhealthy behavior should be avoided as
much as possible.
It's also important to make action plans realistic and achieveable. If you're a
workaholic
and your plan is to spend more time away from the office doing
something you enjoy, don't make a plan that include spending ten hours a
week on "me time." Start off with something more realistic, like 15 or
30 minutes a day. Once you see that you can accomplish this, you can
then extend the time if you'd like.
Action: At
this stage, you put your plan into action. You begin to make the changes
you desire and you try to cope with the challenges that come with
making those changes (i.e, the temptations that entice a return to the
unhealthy or unwanted behavior). To stay successful, you'll need
strategies to maintain the changed behavior and resist the unhealthy
behavior. These strategies may include self-generated strategies (going
to a class or session; exercise; positive self-talk; reading to stay
educated on a specific topic) or external reinforcement (letting friends
know what you're doing so they can serve as sources of support when you
feel yourself weakening).
Maintenance: When you
reach the six month mark and your new behavior remains stable and
consistent, you're into the Maintenance stage. The work now is focused
on enjoying the new you and preventing a return to the old unwanted or
unhealthy behavior. Coping strategies are strengthened or modified to
make sure maintenance is sustained.
What about regression/relapse? The
reason visual models of TTM depict spirals or circles is because
movement through the stages is not always forward. As noted previously,
change is hard and there are likely to be periods of regression or
relapse. That's why the model anticipates them. It's not uncommon for
individuals trying to overcome addictions to relapse many times before
they succeed, and even then, they continue to have to work hard to
maintain continued success. However, returning to the unhealthy or
unwanted behavior isn't all negative. If you can learn something from
the regression to help you be less vulnerable in the future, you'll be
all the more stronger the next time you try. So if you've tried to
change and didn't succeed, try again ... and again ... and again. Learn
what you can from each relapse and keep moving ahead.
- When the change is self-motivated
- When the change is rooted in positive thinking as opposed to guilt, fear, or regret
- When the goals are specific (i.e., I will walk one mile at least four days each week as opposed to I will exercise)
- When you limit your goals to a managable number
- When
you develop a practical, realistic plan for accomplishing your goals
(If you work 100 hours a week, it's unlikely that you will have the time
to walk one mile at least four days a week.).
- When you incorporate avoidance of triggers in your action plan
- When
you spend time with others who are positive role models for the change
you're trying to make (i.e., those who don"t have the habit or those who
have successfully changed).
Change is hard. But people
tackle hard projects all the time. It can happen. You just need
patience, persistence, and a strong commitment to improve your life by
making changes for the better.It's normal to be discouraged when you get
off track and fall back into the old behavior, but use the relapse as a
learning experience and get back in the saddle and try again. In the
words of life coach and author, Alan Cohen,
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly
secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no
longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and
exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
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